I ‘m in the thick of a personal challenge that’s likely to continue for some time. This offers a chance to reflect on what I know about resilience, having had many life experiences that tested my capacity to bounce back.
Here’s my current challenge. My husband and I recently went away for the weekend. While we were away, the toilet in our master bathroom failed. Water overflowed into the bathroom and caused the wide pine flooring to buckle throughout the bathroom and adjoining room. It also seeped into the walls of the floor below, destroying a section of ceiling, bead board and warped a door frame.
We’re in the early stages of the renovation process. As of today, there are three industrial strength dehumidifiers operating constantly to dry out the wood and minimize the likelihood of mold. We removed all the plumbing fixtures and furniture from the two rooms most affected so the demo guys can come in when it’s time.
I have a good idea of what needs to happen after that. Six years ago, on the eve of the 2016 election, the same thing happened in the same location but from a different cause. The baseboards, heating units and plumbing had to be removed and most of the wood planks replaced, sanded and stained. It was months of dust, noise and disruption. My husband says this time is worse. To make matters worse, he had personally installed the original floors and all the bead board that was destroyed this time.. All of his painstaking work torn out and redone.
We’ve all been through our share of difficult circumstances that try our capacity to show up as the best version of ourselves. Many of us live through experiences far, far worse than what I’m going through right now. And I’ve personally been through my share of objectively worse situations. What makes this time especially challenging is that I’m already feeling worn out and worn down from all we’ve handled during the past few years.
As I write this, I feel guilty and slightly vulnerable revealing how I’m feeling as a result of something that’s minor in the scheme of difficult situations.
Do you ever feel that way, too? Worn out but fearful of sounding like a whiner? If so, you’re not alone. I’ve talked with so many people who are struggling to rise to the occasion yet uncomfortable giving voice to the depletion they feel. Thinking, “I can’t take this anymore but what’s my choice?”
If you’re in a leadership role, with other people looking to you for direction and inspiration, the weight of that responsibility can be even heavier.
Here are some of my go-to strategies for generating a sense of motivation and momentum when I just want to throw in the towel. They’ve helped to get me through these kinds of long, drawn-out challenges over and over again. I’m not sure what will work this time but I know I will figure something out.
Throw myself into my work. (A form of denial. This isn’t working so well anymore.)
Try to find the gift, the opportunity, the meaning or lessons.
Put things in perspective (my mother’s motto was, “It could always be worse.”)
Maintain a sense of humor.
Try to be the best person I can be in the situation.
Stay connected with people I trust and can count on.
Know when I need alone time.
Be self-compassionate and accept that there will be low times and less-than-stellar behavior.
What are your strategies for picking yourself back up and carrying on when you’ve run out of steam? Please leave your ideas in the Comments below. I could certainly use some suggestions!