Remember this scary experience from childhood?

You hear a sound. It’s not loud but it’s unfamiliar. Your heart starts to beat faster. You think you should go investigate but you’re scared. What if it’s something really bad?

As grown-ups, we experience the magic trick, too. 

Perhaps you get yourself worked up about a conversation with a colleague that you fear will turn into a conflict. You even put off having the conversation to avoid the conflict. Then you think, “How ridiculous, just do it!” And all at once the tension is gone, the conversation goes smoothly and you even have a laugh together. 

How does that happen? 

Suddenly, the sound is gone, and the air feels familiar again. You feel calm and safe.

It’s like a magician appeared and waved a wand. “How did that happen?” you may wonder. The magician eyes you slyly and says, “Sleight of hand, my dear. Anyone can do it. Do you want me to teach you?”